My work has recently decided to completely re-arrange everyone's location. As a result, some new people have moved near me. One of these people is currently listening to some god-awful soft jazz. You know the kind of stuff--it is played in waiting rooms.

I guess it is supposed to be calming, but all it does is remind me of waiting rooms. It makes me antsy because I think of waiting to go in and get a filling, or flipping through copies of Highlights where all the cool puzzles have been scribbled over by some toddler with a black crayon. How am I supposed to find all of the hidden pictures when the lines are obscured by black wax?

Time for the headphones

Finally! Now I will be able to decode 12 year olds' blogs.

Thanks, Microsoft, u r 1337!

This is a great blog that "lists actual pitches, query letters and plot descriptions received by [a] manager" in Hollywood.

To think, I found it through a CNN article.

A list of 100 things that the particular author would do if he became an evil overloard. My favorites:

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

Yes! A new way to waste time at work...or at home...

From the page:

Grafik Dynamo is a net art work by Kate Armstrong & Michael Tippett that loads live images from blogs and news sources on the web into a live action comic strip. The work is currently using a feed from LiveJournal. The images are accompanied by narrative fragments that are dynamically loaded into speech and thought bubbles and randomly displayed. Animating the comic strip using dynamic web content opens up the genre in a new way: Together, the images and narrative serve to create a strange, dislocated notion of sense and expectation in the reader, as they are sometimes at odds with each other, sometimes perfectly in sync, and always moving and changing. The work takes an experimental approach to open ended narrative, positing a new hybrid between the flow of data animating the work and the formal perameter that comprises its structure.

Cool. Very cool.

A Slate Explainer about reattaching cut off body parts.

I wonder if all hospitals keep a supply of leaches:

You also need to reattach the veins, or blood won't be able to flow out of the severed part. Without a conduit for outflow, the body part will swell, which can cause tissue damage. When veins can't be sewn up right away, surgeons apply live leeches.

WTF?

As of now (2/22/05; 9:53 Eastern) the above CNN page is headlined by:

Haoxer targets army wife with false death call

At first I thought it was a combination of a "haxor" and a "hoaxer," but based on the article it is just a mis-spelling.

The error aside, that is one fucked up dude to tell people their loved ones are dead for his jollies.

Great way to count your calories (among other things) after (or even before) your next trip to Wendy's.

They should have this info print out on your receipt so you can see just how much you are about to ingest.

I was reading about Patty Hearst today after listening to the Warren Zevon song Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner.

Man, what a weird situation Hearst was put into. I had never heard/read the story before. Pretty crazy.

A new way to get in to space without being a mission specialist. This is a really cool idea. I hope it flies, 'cause I'd love to go.

The question is: what course number is it? Or is stuck with letters like out-of-the-mainstream courses?

These are great. I love found "art."

Boy, reading this really puts my mind at ease.

Pass the butter.

From a CNN article on drinking and drug use:

The state with the highest rate [of pot use], New Hampshire at 10 percent, does not have such a law [that allow people to grow, smoke or obtain marijuana for medical needs with a doctor's recommendation].

Live free or die, man.

I fell for only 1 (but I bought it at Wal-Mart), 2 and 3 (but I didn't send my photo in, pay for my listing and *still* got a copy of the book free). I skipped 4 (spent a lonely day on NH's coast instead), and 5 just doesn't apply in the Northeast (or didn't when I was in HS).

God, HS was depressing. I think I just ruined my day thinking about this stuff. Damn it.

I recently remembered that the best story in the world ends with:

...it hurt like a bitch, and it bled for a really, really long time.

The story begins with (please correct me if I am wrong):

Back in high school a friend of mine and I...

I have no idea about the middle, but I think it involved a truck. But, really, with that ending, do you need any more?

Ah, yes. Just like so many meetings I have been to recently.

An article about a study on short-term (aka "working") memory in "smart" people. It seems that when performace matters, performance decreases in people with a high working-memory capacity.

...individuals with high working-memory capacity, which normally allows them to excel, crack under pressure and do worse on simple exams than when allowed to work with no constraints. Those with less capacity score low, too, but they tend not to be affected by pressure.

I always screw up when some one asks me to calculate the tip for them. If they don't ask, I can do it right the frist time.

I took the nerd quiz Riad posted to his blog. My results page tells me the following:

Your nerdiness is:
High-Level Nerd. You are definitely MIT material, apply now!!!

Google's Interactive Edition of the 2004 Year-End Zeitgeist. The interface is really cool, and it gives a quick way to see the most popular queries. I like it.

An Explainer on coin sizes and masses:

Right now, stealing dollar coins is far more efficient on a pound-by-pound basis than stealing any other American coin in circulation.

This reminds me of a toll-booth heist in NH back in the 70s or 80s. The crooks ended up in the woods near the house I grew up in (before we lived there). We found a pile of coins out in the woods where one of the bags, we guessed, split open. The store clerks sure looked at us kids funny when we used dirt covered change to buy our candy bars...

More food that looks like some one famous. 50 grand return on a $0.89 container of fries? What a racket.

I am amazed at what links 12 year olds are posting in their AIM profiles.

Yeah, I was pissed at first too after I filled out and submitted the form, but then I was amused. And when I am amused, I want to share.

I meant to post this story yesterday, because I agree with the sentiment in the headline:

The Lamest Dynasty in Sports

though not for most of the reasons outlined in the article. I think the Patriots are a lame dynasty because they are from a part of the country that isn't gung-ho about football. New England likes football, yes, but it isn't a religion like it is in some places down south.

Granted, I am sure there are a million-plus people standing around in Boston right now (or maybe the parade is over?) to welcome the winners home, but somehow I can't imagine that the furvor would be as great as for some other teams. Note this: I know of no one (granted, I don't know many people--but nonetheless) who is taking time out of their day to go up to Boston (a mere 35 miles away) and witness the parade. I am sure that in Texas the local companies would just give the day off because so many people would be out.

So, I think it is funny that the Pats have won 3 out of the last 4 Super Bowls, and the fans are respectfully polite about the wins, but are focused on when the Bruins will be on the ice again and when spring training starts for the Sox. Those who think football is life must be pissed. Heh--I love it.

Is it just me, or does Condi look kinda creepy in this pic with Blair?

Stupid CNN quiz on your relationship with your boss. The one interesting tidbit is the result if you answer mostly c:

your boss is definitely not "into" you, and you should be preparing your exit strategy.

Some advice.

Dude. Totally awesome. I love it when technology is applied in new ways. That's innovation.

And the idea of an inside out loaf of bread is just intriguing...

Doesn't that guy kinda look like John Flansburg of TMBG? Maybe it's just the glasses...

We watched some Family Guy on the flight back from Vegas the other night. I almost died laughing when I heard this part:

Olivia: You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Stewie: Ahahaha, oh gosh, that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link. Goodbye. You know I've never heard anyone make that joke before...hmmm...you're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before, because that's that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link. Goodbye. And and and you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. Mmm that's so fresh too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me as long as we are hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. Mmm? Because I, I am here. God you're so funny.

I was in Las Vegas for work over this past weekend. While we were there, we watched one of the performances of the Bellagio Fountains. Though the flow isn't very interesting (high pressure, very turbulent), the synchronization of the water to the music is pretty cool. Check out the video on the link above. Very cool stuff.

Oh, and I came back about even after playing roullette and slots the whole time.